Tuesday, 18 October 2011
That awkward moment when you're paying close attention to something and working hard on it just to glance at the time and realize it's later than you expected.
This happened to me about fifty minutes ago. I looked down at the corner of my screen and was like, "When the fuck did it turn 11pm? Where have I been all this time?" Uh, writing. Editing. Actually getting shit done for once. Apparently I got so caught up in all the work I've been avoiding that I didn't even realize I had been doing it for almost four hours non-stop. I'm not complaining - or I don't think I am, at least. Also: I don't know whether this is a good or a bad thing. Getting this caught up could lead to the somewhat dreaded work sluttery which inevitably ends me in a burn out that takes weeks to recover. But if I'm enjoying what I'm doing... Then isn't the work sluttery a good thing? Past experience says no. Stubborn me says yes. If I'm feeling motivated it's best to ride the wave for all its worth because I don't know when I'm going to like what I'm doing this much again. Could be tomorrow. Could be a week from now. Could be never again. I can never be too sure which is why I try to stay on top of motivation when it blesses me with its presence.
When I realized it was 11pm I thought, "Hey, wow, I've been working hard this evening and I've gotten a fair bit of work done - let's sleep!" An hour later... I'm still awake. And doing more work. And writing this. I'm tired. I'm yawning. But you know what? I'm probably not going to go to sleep. Because of that damned dreaded insomnia. I'd ask my dad for sleeping pills but I don't trust myself with them so that's out of the question. I don't know what else to do other than put up with sleepless sleepiness.
I can imagine that posts I write around this time sounds like incoherent rambling of a crazy person. Given the fact that I probably am a crazy person who rambles a lot... This shouldn't come as much of a surprise. But I always try to make my blog posts sound somewhat intelligent because I'd like to think of myself as a decently smart person. This is often debated by my peers but it's not like they know anything about me other than the shit they make up - so who the fuck even asked them? Uh, no one last I checked. So fuck 'em.
No, please don't. They probably have AIDS or something. I can name ten people off the top of my head that I used to go to school with who has an STD (or two or four - it depends on who we're talking about).
Okay. I've reached the point of blogging boredom. More editing? I think so.
Fun fact no one gives a fuck about: the title of this post is the song I was listening to at the time - Bang, Bang, Bang by Christian Perri.